The beginning of the end.

Dear Family and Friends,

This is Cathy once again, putting Tom's thoughts on his blog. He wants to first and foremost thank all of you for your support, thoughts and prayers. Over the past 2+ years your phone calls, cards, email/blog messages, gifts and visits have touched his heart and brightened his days. His progress as well as his ability to maintain daily activity is steadily declining. Time previously spent golfing, limited biking, cutting wood, working in Dad's yard and tending to his rose bushes is now replaced with trying to get all meds and liquid nutrient in and then resting.

Two days after receiving a more suitable feeding tube on July 22, he experienced severe swelling of the jaw and cheeks along with weakness and the inability to keep down much of the liquid nutrients/meds. New sores had appeared in his mouth as well. Benadryl seemed to help through the weekend and kept him from an unwanted emergency room visit. By Monday, July 27, a majority of the swelling had dissipated but a visit with Dr. Sherry was warranted nonetheless. Dr. Sherry felt, after his examination of Tom's head/neck/mouth/right armpit, that the recent chemo treatment was doing more harm than good. He ordered a head/neck and torso scan for the following day. He also ordered antibiotics for the mouth sores.

On July 29, Dr. Sherry called with the results of the scan. The cancer in his head, neck and right armpit has grown to the point of confirming Dr. Sherry's belief - the treatment is not helping in any way. After some pressing, we were able to get Dr. Sherry's opinion on Tom's prognosis - 2 to 4 months. We, Tom and his immediate family, discussed all the details and agreed that it would be best for Tom to stop all chemotherapy and concentrate on his comfort through full, in-home, hospice care. We hope that some of Tom's frustrations with constantly changing medications and discomfort from their side effects of chemotherapy will be reduced.

So now Tom is getting his affairs in order. Dad and I are helping to get hospice care finalized. Tom knows the roller coaster effect of good and bad days will continue in the upcoming months but we, Tom and his immediate family, will do everything we can to keep him as active and positive as possible.

Since each day is unpredictable, Tom asks that those who wish to contact him do so by email (tkokoski@comcast.net) or blog messages. Please know that Tom will see (or hear from Dad/me) each message but most likely will not be able to respond. The pain medications tends to keep him in a state of haziness and maintaining his train of thought is difficult from day to day.

Since Tom can no longer speak, and he is now living back home and 100% fully dependant on Dad to comunicate via a whiteboard and grease pen, his phone number of 602-881-1311 has been disconnected, so no calls to either Dad's cell or house number if you please. For those of you who have it, Dad's number was simply put on the friends and family plan of sister Teresa and all of Tom's contacts have been rolled over to Dad's phone now.